my pursuit for beauty & love


beauty

beauty is what i want from the final product of my works. it is a deeply personal belief for each of my works. this website and the other websites i've created are not beautiful yet. i am ill-equipped to create beautiful works yet. from this moment forth, i shall pursue the skills to create beauty.


love

love is someone that i, if i'm fortunate enough, choose to elevate my life. it should be easy to and for the both of us. i don't see a reason why it should be a struggle. and i don't wish to compromise my life for other forms of disguised love. disguised love is difficult to spot and deadly. the characteristic of difficulty is because it can come in different pleasures: intellectual exchanges, frequent pride moments, or simply continued lust. i'll get into each pleasure in the following passages after i speak about the love i truly seek. i say that disguised love is deadly in its literally sense. choosing the wrong person to fall in love with is slow suicide. i'll elaborate in a further passage.

i see love as a power. a power that is only achievable through luck. a power that is greater than individuals of two in a team. a synergy of which one cannot taste until one has experienced. and yet here i am, talking as if i have tasted it when i have yet to experience it. how do i know? i know as i know some flowers are poisonous. i know from stories, i need not experience it for myself to know. well, claiming that i know is a stretch. perhaps 'convinced' is the better term. thus, i am convinced that my partner must be someone i admire to begin love. someone of great strength. i don't mean in physicality but in intellect and beauty. although i am aware that my version of love is vastly different from most, idk how to convince other people otherwise. the common people are obsessed with rankings within a couple's dynamic or obsessed with corporate rankings. alpha, beta, being number 1, and number 2 do not make any sense to me. perhaps it makes more sense for the common people who like to pigeonhole concepts to simplify for themselves in their minds. perhaps i'd understand them one day, just kidding, i do not wish to comprehend any lesser minds. my version of love is far too complicated a topic to pigeonhole.

have you spoken to someone and had intellectual exchanges? not just any thought provoking conversation, but awe inducing ideas that spark your mind, then its light lingered long enough to reach your heart to grow its fire. after which, the fire burns so heartily that it dries you up, and you thirst for another conversation with that special someone.


the passages are in progress for alignment. the reader may not make any sense of the flow of my words yet.

i chanced upon new ideas on love.


johnathan bi's lecture

'wisdom is a most beautiful thing, and love is love if the beautiful, so love must be a philosopher, and a philosopher is in a middle state between a wise man and an ignorant one.' - plato's symposium

according to diotima of mantinea, many experience physical pregnancy but there are some who experience soul pregnancy. soul pregnancy is the highest ideal for procreation. the couple in love thus procreate virtues, procreate art, procreate skills, procreate ideas etc. in which the couple elevates themselves with their union. she claims that the couples that experience soul pregnancy would have better offsprings from physical pregnancy. the following information is diotima's ladder aka how to love, until written otherwise. fall in love with body of one individual only, and there procreate beautiful discourse, meaning dialectic or philosophy but no sexual activity. the next step on the ladder would be to acknowledge that no single individual can be the only one possessing beauty, there are beautiful people around the world, and no single person holds the key to your happiness. next and third rung, 'he will realise that the beauty in souls is more to be prized than that in the body, if someone's soul is good even if his physical attraction is slight, that will be enough for him' - plato, symposium. the fourth rung is human practices and laws, what societies are made of: rituals, languages, customs to cultivate a beautiful soul aka politics. the fifth rung is knowledge, object of science. the sixth rung is the form of beauty itself, mathematically.

what platonic relationship truly is: it is governed by three species of recognition. the first is impressing the other sex through accumulating resources and elevate the body. the second is a kind of self-recognition; the beauty of his lover that he deems his god inspires himself to elevate himself and do all he can to aid his lover. third recognition is simply how the beloved reacts to the lover: when the beloved recognises her lover's attempt to elevate himself and her, she transforms for better and elevates herself, a glimpse of that divinity mirrored from his eyes. what ever your lover values, you'd eventually understand yourself through her as a mirror, and reshape your priorities. thus, choosing a lover is not simply choosing whom to spend time with but choosing a mirror to understand yourself truly, 'your new self' according to plato. what about sex? the best lovers only lusts each other's souls, they only have sex for procreation. the worst lovers lust for non-procreation reasons. the middling lovers lust after each other's souls and their bodies. non-procreative sex has no benefit besides physical pleasure and is untameable, thus it is frowned upon from the lens of platonic love. however, the highest ideals were framed in pederastic terms, which its context would not pan out today. the context was back those old greek days, mostly males were educated and thus, mostly man and boys could cultivate their souls; and grown man were seen as recipients for bodily love - being penetrated; through process of elimination, young boys were the only option.

alcibiades, athens golden child. idolised for his beauty, his aristocratic family line, energy, charisma, one of the top generals, his love for wisdom and philosophy. the ideal nature. he sought and loved socrates. even offered his beauty, status, wallet, network, and all his physical resources in exchange for socrates' mind. socrates declined, 'trading bronze for gold' as socrates replied. but socrates was toying with alcibiades because he never charged for his teachings, every lecture was free. alcibiades did not realise this.'but look more carefully, dear boy, in case i am actually worthless and you have not noticed', socrates reminded him. ultimately, diotama's ladder must be climbed by oneself.

is the ultimate human the average human? one whose appetites are moderate despite having access to abundant resources from his cultivated time and network.


johnathan bi's interview with grf ferrari

plato's warning against friends with benefits. in plato's time, pederasty is common in aristocratic circles. casual sex is an agreement out of their friendship and paid with the friendly peace that comes with it. socrates believe that a lover will take control over you and hinder your potential, to reduce the attraction of other suitors.


johnathan bi's interview with david o'connor

look for someone who wants to live as a couple. the individual should feel some incompleteness, not in a bad way, but in a way that he or she seeks exploration and growth. with the right partner, the individual's exploration and growth grow exponentially. the individual should not wait until he or she is complete before pursuing love. completeness of any individual is exceptionally rare and god knows how long it'd take. marriage is the way of moral pedagogy. there's nobody "best" for you, there're many good enough individual for you.

the partner should thinks marriage is for live too, like you.


summary

the root sources are mainly from ancient greek, a time where pederasty is most common, and analysed and interpreted to social standards today for monogamy between adults.



my version of love

i feel and love as i deserve. be the person who deserves whatever love and lover i desire. find someone who

  1. wants a partner
  2. wants to grow exponentially as a partner
  3. wants marriage for life
  4. desires children, the ability to is a separate health conversation on its own
  5. and it should be easy to fall in love with her, and live life with her
in that order. all 5 parts need to be fulfilled. what is easy? someone who is all of these need to be fulfilled. part of life is a search for the right people and the determination to stick with the right ideas.


further research

lens from medical science. how do sexual diseases turn up? does having multiple partners cause this? if so, is man then biologically not supposed to be polygamous? how about woman?



to be continued...